My daddy

Today I lost my closest alli(other than my hubby),the first man I ever loved,and the greatest man I have ever known,my dad. It still feels like a dream,like I'm gonna wake up and he'll still be here. I knew this day would come but I didn't realize how soon it would be.I wish Mason could have had the chance to get to know him. My dad was great,he always helped people less fortunate,he did charity work for all kinds of causes,he always made time for me. To me that was the best thing. I could always call him for anything and he would be there. I'm going to miss him so much. Even though he never said it I know he loved me,and I know he thought Mason hung the moon! I am so glad that he did get the chance to see and know his grandson,a gift that my grandmother never received. I am so grateful for all that they have done for me (my mom,dad and my grandparents) and I hope that now I get the chance to tell them all. I feel so terrible that I have tarnished my relationship with my mother so badly that it seems ruined. I don't want things to be this way,I want to get along with my mom,and I hope that now we can. I know my father always wanted that. He tried so hard to make things good and I never would budge. I am too stubborn and I really need to change that. I know he wanted a happy family and I want to make it that way for him,too little too late maybe but it's what he would have wanted,it's gonna take some work but I really want to make it happen. I love you dad. I'm gonna miss you more than anything.

looking back...

I loved every moment of being pregnant. I had a fairly easy labor and birth and I feel like I have a good baby. He sleeps through the night ,he took to breastfeeding right away,and he's just so sweet and well behaved. I CAN'T WAIT TO DO IT AGAIN! Jeff says I'm crazy and so do most of my friends but I don't care. I would do it a thousand times over. I still cry but for different reasons now. At first it was because I thought I couldn't survive without Jeff here and now it's because I am so overcome with emotion all the time that I can't even control it. I love Mason so much,I never knew how much I could love someone and that that love would seem to grow every day! Every day he amazes me by learning something new or doing something so cute,I just have to stop and stare at him. I love that he has such a wonderful family and that they all love him so much! It took so long to get him here but it was worth everything we did! I would love to have another one and soon but if it's not in the cards for us that's OK because we have the best little boy that anyone could ask for.He is growing so fast! The pictures are at birth and 12 weeks!

Mason

HE"S HERE!! Well...he got here 9 weeks ago...But who can blame me for just sitting and looking at him rather than posting blogs? I'm not at my home computer so I'll have to post pictures later but he's just PERFECT! Looks just like his daddy and sleeps so good!!

26 weeks.....

WOW! I can't believe it's been 6 weeks since I last blogged on here! Not much has changed,he's getting bigger and moves a lot but other than that everything is the same,which is good. I can't believe that he will be here in 95 days! We still haven't come up with a name yet and it's really starting to get on my nerves. The baby furniture will be here soon and his room is almost finished. It's really starting to sink in. I never thought I would ever see this day and now it's coming so fast I can hardly wait. I just want to be able to hold him and kiss his little face!

20 weeks...

I went to see the Dr yesterday to have my "Official" anatomy scan and she told me that he weighs 15oz~ A little on the big side but they aren't worried about it so neither am I. I go back in 4 weeks to repeat my glucose test and hopefully I'll pass it as well. Everything else was good,saw the heartbeat and he was moving around,the only thing was they couldn't get a clear shot of his face so we have to repeat the ultrasound when we go back in 4 weeks.

It's starting to warm up around here and hopefully the summer will fly by and at the end of it I'll have my baby boy! I'm hoping to get a pool membership this year so that I'll have someplace to go when the weather gets really hot! The baby is moving a lot at night still and just a little bit during the day. I think he can hear some of what goes on outside because sometimes he responds to hubbys voice by moving. He still has no name...that bugs me but oh well...We are about to start working on his room and hopefully will have most of it done soon. I guess that's it for now,see you in 4 weeks.

19 weeks pregnant...

I'm super excited that I've made it this far...the furthest I've ever made it before was 13 weeks. I'm really starting to feel like this is really real...that in as little as 4 short months I will be the mother of a little boy! I can't really describe the feeling that I have,I mean,we tried so long and hard for this and now it's really gonna happen! To tell you the truth,I never thought it would. I had completely given up on the idea of ever having kids of our own and was trying to talk Jeff into adoption. And then...it did. I still couldn't believe it when the stick turned positive and I went out and bought several more and peed on them daily until my first appointment. Jeff finally made me stop. I feel a lot better about it now because I can feel the little guy move...he likes to move at night and kick me in the bladder...but I wouldn't have it any other way! The only ailment I have really had is my sciatic nerve,that has bothered me for about 6 years. So not totally a pregnancy issue but annoying...

I love the feeling of knowing that I have made it halfway and I'm now in the 2nd half of this pregnancy. Sometimes I feel as though time can't go any slower and then I look back and see how far I've come and it makes me smile. My next appointment is on the 22nd and I'll get to look at all his organs and everything! Hopefully the crazy lady Dr won't piss me off about my weight...I get it that she's skinny,but I'm not. Get over it lady! I don't sit around and eat Bon Bons all day so stfu already! I'm so excited to see my little man again!! I can't wait until I get to hold him in my arms!

19 weeks and we have a.........

Cravings and other old wives tales...

I have been craving sausage pizza and candy...that throws the old wives tales about cravings out the window... I have an appointment at Focused Within to have a gender scan on Tuesday the 2nd so I guess we'll find out then... On another note,other superstitions have pointed in the Boy direction,which is what I have thought all along. I guess we'll see in 3 days.....

http://www.hisboyscanswim.com/658/list-of-51-pregnancy-old-wives-tales-your-babys-sex-revealed

14 weeks...

I had to reschedule my appt due to the bad weather and all the snow but I did get another ultrasound and everything looked good. I also had blood work for my first trimester screening and downs test...those results came back today and the Dr said that everything was within the normal range. Thank the Lord for that!! We also got news yesterday that Jeff missed the layoffs so he gets to keep his job for the time being which is GREAT!! I'm 14 weeks today! Heres a picture...it's not very good because I had to use my camera...my printer is down...Enjoy! My next appt is on the 22nd.

Baby picture....

This is my 6w4d ultrasound picture. Baby measured right on target. Hope everything goes well this Friday and that I have another picture to show you!

Guess what?...

So for those of you who don't know yet,I'm pregnant! After years of trying and heartache it finally happened!! We haven't told many people yet,besides close friends and family,and with our circumstances I don't WANT to tell anyone until the baby is here safe and sound...but I know that I will tell everyone in my own time and everything will be ok. I'm 12w4d today and I have another ultrasound on Friday. Hopefully everything will be perfect and I can start looking at baby stuff. I told hubby already that we aren't taking anything out or setting up the nursery until either right before I have the baby or after we come home. I suppose that is the infertile woman inside of me screaming that something could go wrong. It's been such a long hard journey to get here and I almost feel,like a friend once said,like a fake. Like it's not really happening and it's all just a dream and I'll wake up soon. I know that the doctor said that once you establish a heartbeat the chances are pretty good for the baby but...this is me and when it comes to certain things I'm a "glass-half-empty" kind of girl.

I have,however,purchased some maternity clothes for myself and I love them!! The shirts are a little roomy but hopefully soon they won't be. :) Anyway,I thought I would post and let everyone know that wants to and with any luck I'll have some good news on Friday.